First of all I love you.
In my opinion the reason we lose feelings and interest in someone after falling in love with them is because the relationship has reached a deeper level.
At first the other person only sees what we choose to show them about ourselves, we get to present a perfect version of ourselves. How wonderful!
Also in the beginning of a relationship we don’t have any expectations for the other person to fall short of. They haven’t disappointed us yet, or established a habit of disappointing us. There are no grudges or old wounds.
People want to make a good impression on one another, so we are more patient, more thoughtful, generous and kind, not because we actually have these virtues habitually, but because they make us look good to the person we are trying to impress.
People pamper each other with attention in the beginning, overlooking blatant faults, and smother each other with affection, which is what we always crave but seem never to find outside a new relationship. Much of falling in love is just ego stroking and sexual hormones flooding our bloodstream.
Real love knows the weakness and even the darkness of the other and still accepts them. Real love has been hurt by the other and has forgiven them. Real love seeks to see all of the other person, good and bad.
Real love means I don’t have to act or look a certain way to impress you. Real love not only encourages the other to be themselves but actually supports them in doing so!
Real love is messy, painful, blissful, work, joy, and transformative all at once.
Real love is sacrificial, meaning you happily give something up so the other can have their way, even if they don’t repay you for it. Real love doesn’t feel the pain of sacrifice, it feels the joy of giving.
Real love is loyal despite ordinary lulls in the relationship. It is loyal when no one is looking, it is loyal in thought, word, emotion, and action. It is loyal in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, for rich or for poor.
Real love spans lifetimes, and even transcends death itself. Real love is a service, a partnership, a piece of family that you have chosen for yourself rather than being born into.
True love knows that love is sometimes hard, and wants to quit, and admits those feeling to their partner without fear of judgment or reprisal for saying so. True love fights to keep communication channels open, and works hard to say what needs to be said, while hearing what needs to be heard, with an open heart, without anger.
True love is honest not only about where you’ve been or what you were doing, but also honest in sharing deep emotions and fears, and hopes and dreams.
True love is emotionally open, vulnerable, raw and full of risk. True love works hard to let the other know that you still think of them when you are not together.
True love suffers and celebrates. True love laughs and cries. True love gives and receives. True love speaks and listens. True love serves and is served.
True love requires that I change myself rather than demand a single change in my partner. True love understands that there are ups and downs.
True love never dies.
True love is real and it is not exclusive to romantic relationships. True love can exist between any two sentient and emotive beings.
It is a gift of God to be treasured and cultivated, protected and displayed, cherished and valued. Real love has been tested by time and has been strengthened by it.
I love you!