Spiritual Symptoms

For me awakening had the following symptoms:

1 I stopped going to church. I couldn’t listen to one more sermon from a dude who has too much religious knowledge and little spiritual experience.

2 Depression. There are things inside you that no longer serve you, and they are dying. This feels like depression. They have to die to make room for God’s grace to enter you like sunshine on a rich garden soil.

3 Joylessness. The very things that I found joy in no longer satisfied my heart. Detachment from old sources of joy made room for the heavenly joys to come, and are still coming.

4 Solitude. I started seeking alone time and avoiding social settings, which was very unusual for me. I used to get so much energy from a group of people. I didn’t realize I was stealing it from them.

5 Food. I hardly ate. I lost 60 pounds.

6 Anger. No. Rage. It came in waves and I blamed my family as the cause. Of course it wasn’t them, it was my own hurt deep within crying out to be healed.

7 I had energy flowing through my brain that felt like pins and needles.

8 Meditation. It became a daily thing. It was the only thing I felt good doing.

9 A loss of meaning or purpose in life, especially work.

10 A deep and strangely consoling trust that all this pain I felt was the loving hand of God in my life.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s