My Prayer; July 2005

Found in an old book in my garage.

Remember your creator– to me this is the first commandment. The greatest, that contains all the rest. I remember you, but I used to remembered you more than I do now. I need the breath of prayer in my soul. I need my soul to breathe in your presence, the presence that surrounds me, that saturates everything. The presents that is so common that it seems invisible. I must remember how to search and seek that presence found in all things. I don’t need to go anywhere, just dig deep where I am. I need this breath to nourish my soul and my soul to exhale this breath through my body, into the life I live, to walk in the presence of the Lord in the land of the living. My place on this earth is growing, changing, living, breathing. It is not what I was, it is not what I will be. But it is rooted deeply in you, only that is constant. What am I to do with human concerns? All that is left is for me to choose. There is no right or wrong freedom. What I desire, what I aspire to, where I go, all touch that same freedom. But to do is little, it comes and goes, it’s me you desire, not my work. That is comfort to me. To remember is my work. To teach and pray my breath, you are my food. I am hungry Lord. Nourish me in your ways. Without remembering I look for breath here, but it is only stale air. It doesn’t move, it doesn’t feel me. I long for meaning beyond the realm of sense, beyond the veil in front of me. Your seed took root and flourished. It grew deeper roots but now longs to see the sun after a long winter. I am searching, my Lord. I am searching for faith. No, I’m searching to see the object of my faith. To experience it myself. To know what depth, to know it’s width and length. Where doesn’t belong? Where can it serve? Faith is each it’s own kind. It is a lonely place, to believe. But it is as real as I am since it cannot be separated from me, inked in my skin, no longer two, but one. I will walk, Lord. I will walk wherever I wish and please you. You have never left me. To me, this is comfort, I will bless you with my freedom. My humanity will be my song to you, You are to me all things.

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