Today is Mother’s Day. A day set aside to honor the women in our lives that have birthed us, fed us, kissed our boo boos, encouraged us, worried for us, yelled at us, and sometimes embarrassed us with love. They know, without being told, exactly what is on your mind, in your heart, and under your bed. They sacrifice without prompt or reason. They volunteer, they organize, they schedule, they clean. They are, in a word, the heart of God on earth.
I want to be a mother. Don’t laugh, I mean it. Motherhood has nothing to do with gender. It’s a spiritual gift, a grace, an understanding and wisdom that comes from outside the cave of ego, and I want it!
I woke up this morning, turned over to my wife and whispered in a thick morning voice, “Happy Mother’s Day”. She said nothing. Can you believe that? I mean really. Can’t she at least acknowledge unconditional love? Why didn’t she cup my face with her hands, look deeply into my eyes and say, “Thank you so much for your thoughtful words! I’m so lucky to have a man like you!” It was the least she could do after my selfless gesture.
Well let me tell you why she didn’t do that. She was up til 10:00 pm trying to get the kids to sleep after Timmy’s 3rd birthday party, which she cleaned up mostly by herself because I was in bed. What. I had a cough! It was now 6:30 am, and she spent at least an hour during the night putting our son back to bed. Timmy was now sitting on her chest screaming for a chocolate baba, announcing that she was not his friend anymore. So no, she did not hear me.
“I said Happy Mothers Day”, I repeated loudly. She rolled her eyes and covered her face with the sheet.
My Ego jumped at the chance to reestablish itself as me. Once I experienced the “true me beyond the cave”, my ego’s life was sentenced to death. I aim to kill that parasite that has been living my life without me. That’s what leaving the cave does by the way; it kills the ego. There isn’t enough room for the both of us in my life. Jesus said it like this:
“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.
“She doesn’t appreciate me”, my ego finished saying before the sheet was even over her head. That’s what ego sounds like. It says, “Hey you, yeah you! I want you to change ’cause I don’t like how you talk to me.” It’s quite sensitive and always ready to point the finger of blame. It insanely accuses everyone else of being the reason for its unhappiness. My ego is a mean, miserable old man from the Bronx that judges everyone, and ridicules those who serve it. It’s where my demon hides if you like “Imagine Dragons”.
So what did I do? I got out of bed to get the chocolate baba for Timmy out of love. (I checked out what I looked like in the mirror with jeans and no shirt too, not bad by the way).
Well, yes, I got the baba but let me be the first to tell you it wasn’t love. It was ego saying, “go on, get the stupid thing, take the moral high ground, be the better person, show her how much you do for her.” I believed it too! Man that ego’s tricky. He got me right back in my cave by being the victim, one of his favorite roles to play.
If my true self were acting, the one outside the egoic cave, I would have done the same action but I would feel so excited that I get to be Dad to this beautiful and hilarious boy! I get to give something to my wife and child first thing in the morning. That opportunity was sadly missed, but I’ll get you next time Gadget!
Ego needs to be stroked, petted and told it exists. If it doesn’t get fed this way it weakens and dies. “Tell me I’m appreciated, tell me you love me, and if you don’t I’ll cry and be a martyr for my own cause”. Either way it gets what it needs.
So, today on this Mother’s Day I will expose two egoic lies.
1. Ego says gratitude is a standard protocol owed to ego for all its actions. But really gratitude is a,
2. Deep seated satisfaction with and consciousness of abundance in life, coupled with a sense of humility in light of all blessings bestowed.
1. Ego says appreciation is the responsibility of others to praise ego for doing anything. Public recognition for being awesome. But really appreciation is the,
2. Awareness of the generosity and beauty in others.
A Mother’s work is love. Love is a gift, and so does not seek compensation. Love has no need for gratitude or appreciation. Only ego has a use for that.
So if mothers love and so don’t need appreciation or gratitude, why should we set aside a whole day for them to do just that? Because we find in our hearts a deep seated satisfaction with and consciousness of abundance in life, coupled with a sense of humility in light of all blessings bestowed by our mothers. And because we are aware of the generosity and beauty in them.
I really want the gift of motherhood.